A doula’s presence can mean the difference between a long, difficult birth and one that moves with grace. She creates intimate space where Life can flow. Your family can join you in this space and share their love. Medical staff is more likely to enter this realm with respect.
Here are ideas for when you meet with me or other potential doulas. You might interview your doctor or midwife too!
Find someone who can be quiet and still: who can listen, who can receive. Someone who is gentle.
Find someone who is not afraid of Birth, or of you. Not afraid of your fear, or your pain. Not afraid of your passion.
Find someone who can join you with touch, breath and sound and can stay with you, hour after hour. Someone who is strong.
Find someone who knows her own body. She will be able to know yours and what it needs.
- Why was she drawn to working with birthing women?
- How long has she been doing this work? Why does she continue?
- Has she given birth herself? How? When? Where? With whom? If she were to give birth again, what would she do differently? What not? Her own experience of giving birth and how she has responded to it will be at the root of what she does with you, whether she’s conscious of that or not.
- If she hasn’t given birth, what experiences give her the foundation for this work? How has she been opened? What does she draw on to peacefully meet the intensity of the opening she is witness to and a part of?
- Who are her clients? Are they women with specific backgrounds, needs and desires or are they a diverse group? Would she describe you as a typical or atypical client?
- What has been her experience of breastfeeding? Is it theoretical or can she latch a baby to the breast? Has she latched her own? If not, whom will she refer you to?
- What is her understanding of the first weeks of motherhood and fatherhood?
- How do you envision giving birth? Share this with her. You will let her see who you are and what you need.
Find someone who can grow her roots down to the centre of the earth and be your tether, your witness, your friend.
